"I Will Always Be Chosen Last"—And Other Lies My Impostor Syndrome Told Me
What is the lie—or lies— that your impostor syndrome tells you?
That I am not good enough.
That I am not pretty enough.
That I am not smart enough.
That I will always be chosen last.
That I am plan B and never plan A.
That I am weak.
Introduce yourself: Who are you?
What do you do to remind yourself that you are enough?
I remember. I remember where I was, where I came from, and acknowledged that I am no longer there. I remember the times that people rallied around me, loved on me. I remember what the word says. I remember David and Goliath, and I remember that no matter how inadequate I may feel, I still have my slingshot. I have to identify my slingshot in that moment, whatever it may be, and use it. I remember my mother, and I everything did and everything she sacrificed to get me to this point, and I remember to be grateful. I remember that God chose me.
Scenario: You walk into a room of your "peers"—describe who they are....do these people encourage you, intimidate you or both?
I walk into a classroom in my old middle/high school. It’s a bunch of my old classmates, and I immediate begin to feel less than. All the insecurities start rushing back. I feel intimidated/ I walk forward and they do not recognize me. They introduce themselves to me, and then I realize that I am not her anymore. For a moment, I want to stay and impress them with my new self. I want to finally fit in and be accepted and be considered “cool.” But then I see a back door and there is a cap and gowned hanging beside it. I look back at them eagerly waiting for me to speak, and I look back at the door. And head towards the door grab the garments, look back one more time and then open the door. I am in a new space now, and I remember that I was always good enough, I’ve just graduated from those insecurities. I have no idea what’s on the other side of the door. But all’s I know is that I’m moving forward.
Who is in your "hall of fame"? (Could be anyone!) How does this person(s) influence how you view yourself and your potential?
My mama: Her strength. Her endurance. Her tenacity. Her courage. She passed it all down through her blood and into me. Through her I can see that it doesn’t matter where you were, it only matters that you keep going. And she shows me that I’ve got the strength to keep... on ... pushing. And the love she has for me, makes me feel like I am not alone.
One of my college mentors Priscilla: Her faith is so loud and so proud and she is so confident. She believes in herself even when others don’t. She has taught me to do the same. She has encouraged me through her actions to pursue God with great intent and vulnerability. She always thinks that I “can” no matter what “it” is; and because of that, where I often would not have in the past, now I think I can as well.
Me: This girl had gone THROUGH it. And every time I feel like the current obstacles is too much, she reminds me... “ You said that last time, now look how far you’ve come.”
How would you encourage someone who is afraid of their potential?
I would say “Good.” That means you recognize how much you have in you! But look at it this way, you don’t have to accomplish it all now, take it one step at a time. And please for life sake, enjoy the heck out of the journey.
If you haven't already, explain the work you do and why.
I do a lot. I believe that I am called to change the world.
I am a creative because every creative platform has reach.
I am an actor because I can tell life changing stories on the stage and on the screen to touch people around the world.
I am a singer because music touches the soul.
I am a writer because the pen is mightier than the sword. I
am a friend, because everyone needs a good one.
Hello, Rose here—
Are you loving this series so far? Please let me know! I would appreciate some honest feedback and dialogue on this subject. You can always email me, or connect with me on social media if that’s what brought you here (check the buttons in the bottom of the page.
My impostor syndrome tells me “no one cares what you have to say,” and beyond that it also says, “stop sharing so much, it will only annoy people.” Today, this month, and hopefully forever—I want to choose not to listen and just do it.
This month I am centering the stories of black women because as a black woman who shares her journey unique to this identity, I wanted to open up my platform to life the voices of others who share my skin but have their own unique story.
There will be so many more stories to come, but I’m still waiting for yours.