"They Don't Care What You Have to Say....They Don't Need You." —And Other Lies My Impostor Syndrome Told Me
What is the lie—or lies— that your imposter syndrome tells you?
"They don't care what you have to say."
"They don't need you."
"Why do you question everything?"
"How entitled are you to think you’re way is better? Keep it to yourself."
"You're taking up too much space."
"You'll be a disappointment."
"Your standards are too high."
"What's the point? You won't get it."
Introduce yourself: Who are you?
Jo. I'm usually whatever you need me to be.
Share the journey: How did you get here?
Wow. Uh I got here by being a molding piece. I fill empty spaces and try to mend broken things. I always felt I needed to reduce my needs or desires for the "greater good" I guess. I can't seem to shake that. It seems that I am accustomed to evading all highs and all lows by riding in the middle.
Face your reflection: Is there a disconnect between your inner self and your outer self?
There is a disconnect but only based on the environment I am in. It goes back to that molding concept. I am learning to connect the two but it often causes friction in the environment that I am in. I'm learning that leveraging my own happiness for others is a mistake I cannot afford forever.
What do you do to remind yourself that you are enough?
Honestly, I have to stop and prove it to myself. I have solid people in my life who believe in who I am and will be. I call them. I pray over scripture that tells me who I am in Christ. Sometimes, I make a playlist for myself.
Scenario: You walk into a room of your "peers"—describe who they are....do these people encourage you, intimidate you or both?
I walk into a room and immediately try to slip in a corner but I keep making eye contact with people who make me happy. We chat. These exchanges are littered with folks who would not care if I ever showed but feel obligated to exchange greetings. Maybe this is just in my head. This happens over and over and over but then I find rest in some people where I find joy. I see these people and realize I was holding my breath since I first walked in. These people remind me who I am and who I can be. These people let me know that my value is not solely in what I can do for people.
Who is in your "hall of fame"? (Could be anyone!) How does this person(s) influence how you view yourself and your potential?
Oh so many people. I've been blessed with an amazing best friend who is wildly supportive without being overbearing. I've got more great friends who remind me of what I am working for everyday and check on me. When they find me in my nest when I hide away, they remind me that I am worth being sought after. I've got family that just say I will be successful and continuously show me that success will have many faces.
How would you encourage someone who is afraid of their potential?
Continue to be afraid. Take that fear and place it with God. Ask Him to prepare you and give you confidence. Sometimes when that is difficult for me, I read stories about un-qualified people who are able to obtain certain positions and have done a phenomenal job. It inspires me to ignore what path people tell me I have to take in order to get somewhere.
If you haven't already, explain the work you do and why.
I work in Residential Life on a college campus. I'm working with people in their transitional period of life and helping people push past road blocks. Seeing people through tough times is what feels normal to me.
Hey there, Rose here—
Thank you for sticking it out with me through a long and unprecedented break! I’ve been having some technical issues which are now over since I have a new laptop!! We thank God.
Glad to be back and glad to see how much this series is effecting people. Glad to see that it’s being shared, even when I’m not posting new content. Glad to see new people tuning in to this blog:
Hey new followers!
This conversation will continue beyond February, I’m sure.
I will be kicking up my content sharing now that I see how much it really does make a difference, since my impostor syndrome tells me “they don’t care what you have to say.”
What does your impostor syndrome tell you. in an effort to stop you from being all you can be? If you’re feeling brave, like my friend Jo here, then please, share your story! From what I’ve heard (and experienced) it’s pretty liberating!